How to Deepen Intimacy Through the Power of Empathic Listening

“I hate having to compete with the TV or computer for my husband’s attention. He used to be such a wonderful listener. I feel like I’m not important enough to him anymore.” ~Jennifer “It’s really frustrating. I’ll tell my girlfriend something and by the next day, she’s forgotten what I said. I’ve given up [...]

Intimacy 101: Uncover the Hidden Rules That Run Your Relationship

No matter how we might resist them at times, we can’t deny the presence of rules in society. From traffic lights to ticket sales, rules help us avoid chaos and establish routines that allow us to cope as a society. But beyond the macrocosm, rules are an important presence in the microcosm of your [...]

Marriage Help: Coping with a Spouse’s Illness

It’s natural to enter a long-term relationship with expectations. And one expectation most of us have is that our spouse or partner will remain relatively healthy. Although wedding vows ask us to consider the possibility of sickness, we don’t automatically assume our loved ones will suffer a serious illness. “I felt blindsided by the [...]

The Ultimate Holiday Gift: Nurture your marriage this holiday season

If it’s the season to be jolly… …then why am I seeing so many stressed, beleaguered couples walking around? Is it more apt to say, ‘Tis the season to feel tense, frustrated and constantly on the go?  Whether you’re feeling totally overwhelmed or slightly frustrated, it’s easy to lose perspective about what’s most important [...]

Tell Me No Lies: 7 Reasons Why you Might Lie to your Partner

In the workshops I conduct for couples, I often ask if anyone has ever lied to their partner (the couples respond anonymously). Usually more than half (sometimes as many as 90%) admit to having lied to their spouse or partner at some point. More than half the people who said they lied to [...]

Marriage help: Bring intimacy back into your marriage

Couples often seek out my relationship help or marriage advice because of difficulties with intimacy—they no longer feel a deep emotional connection with their spouse/partner. Why are so many couples struggling with emotional intimacy? In order to experience the gifts of emotional intimacy, you need to share the deepest parts of yourself with your [...]

Marriage Problems: are Power Struggles Destroying Your Relationship?

In the past you were single… …and you could make decisions without having to check in with anyone. Your favorite color was red and you liked small, fast cars (as in Cherry Red Sports Car, beloved even though you wrenched your back getting in and out); The one bedroom apartment felt [...]

Intimacy 101: is This Intimacy or Dependency?

  Couples often seek marriage counseling because of difficulties with intimacy. Why are so many couples struggling with intimacy? In order to fully connect with your spouse/partner, you need to share the deepest parts of yourself while maintaining a separate sense of self. This balancing act isn’t always easy and there may be [...]

Relationship Advice: Practice Acceptance Each Day and Keep the Divorce Lawyer Away

It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences ~Audre Lorde In the beginning there were similarities… Early in your relationship, you and your partner probably rejoiced when you discovered shared interests: “I can’t believe you like foreign films too–it was such a [...]

Marriage advice: Why love is not enough–does your partner still like you?

Why is it that we have no problem lounging around in our favorite sweatpants (with the hole in the knee) and our favorite threadbare T-shirt (with the rip in the sleeve) in front of our spouse/partner, but if our friends/co-workers were on the way over, we’d change into something “decent” in a quick hurry? [...]

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