Living within the hell that is called an abusive relationship is sometimes unbearable. Most people that aren’t involved in one have a lack of understanding of what it’s like. It is very easy for people to say, why doesn’t she leave for good? What is it that is holding her back to bear such humiliation? But they barely realize the barriers that stop these women to leave which could be financial, emotional and psychological. These women, who have been going through the abuses, need to be encouraged to muster up their courage to take the extreme step for their well being.

However, once you have made up your mind to leave the liaison, do not hold back your intentions, for you do not deserve to be abused for no fault of yours. Make a proper plan before you leave. And keep the following things in mind while planning your strategy:

1) Make a financial plan, for once you leave you will have to face all the hardships and to survive, you will need money. Save every cent that you probably can and hide it, where your abusive spouse will not have access to it.

2) If you plan to sneak out in your spouse’s absence, then be prepared and make a full proof plan.

3) Arrange a place where your children could find themselves safe. Convince them that it is their safety which is important and not to save you.

4) Confide in one of your friends about your plans, who might help you to get away from the abusive relationship, but do not turn to relative or mutual friends.

5) Carry only those things which are of prime importance and which would be useful.

6) Have a bag packed with some of your clothes and your children’s and keep it in one of your most trusted friend’s house to carry it with you.

7) Also do not forget to carry along important documents such as your driving license, passport, ID cards, credit cards, bank cheque books, legal documents of your children as well.

Most important of all, do not forget to take the phone numbers of your close friends, relatives, family doctor, schools etc.

When ending an abusive relationship, take threats seriously, contact law enforcement and get a restraining order. Once you cope up with the fear and get out of it, you are on your way to a new lease of life and a step towards your freedom. Leaving an abusive person is far much healthier than living with them. When you have all the ways and reasons to leave and start your life afresh, why surrender to the jaws of death, when you still want to live.

If I asked you who your best friend is, many of you would point to your spouse or partner. Close friends share a strong emotional bond, enjoy spending time with each other and often have a lot in common. However, there are important elements of a romantic relationship that set it apart from a just-friends relationship–passion, sensuality, and physical attraction.

Unfortunately, in many long-term relationships, passion wanes as the years pass and the couple begins behaving more like close friends than romantic partners.

Sexual desire fluctuates throughout the life of a relationship

Every individual is different, which means that every couple is different. Take this one step further and it’s clear that every couple has different levels of sexual desire. Despite the urge to compare ourselves to others as we search for the ideal “times per week,” the fact is there is no magic number because a couple’s sexuality is intensely personal and completely unique to the couple.

You’re in very good company if the quantity and quality of sex fluctuates in your marriage or relationship. Many couples report steady declines as the years march on, others experience periods of little physical intimacy intermixed with sporadic increases in sex. Couples have different sexual rhythms.

Despite these natural fluctuations, there are mindsets that can creep into your relationship and negatively impact your attempts to keep passion alive. Be aware of them and you put yourself on the road toward a more fulfilling sex life with your partner.

The four mindsets that can destroy passion:

1. You believe that sex is separate from other parts of your relationship.

A relationship truism couples often forget: How you treat your partner outside the bedroom affects what happens inside the bedroom. If your partner perceives you as indifferent or judgmental, it shouldn’t be a surprise when you hear “I’m really not in the mood tonight.”

The seeds of passion are set outside the bedroom–nurture the emotional connection of your relationship and you’ll nurture passion.

2. You’re waiting for spontaneous sex to occur.

Please ignore the Hollywood movies that show couples knocking over every pot and pan in the kitchen (even pot and pans filled with ready-to-eat gourmet food) as they’re overcome with desire and cannot wait to get to the bedroom to have sex. Spontaneous sexual combustion might have occurred when you and your partner were first dating, but for couples who survive past the two-year mark, life’s spontaneous happenings are more likely to involve heartburn and indigestion than sex.

You need to plan for romantic moments, thereby creating them. Even if, over breakfast, you can’t imagine yourself being in the mood later in the evening, if you set aside a time and create a romantic space, you might later surprise yourself when you become aroused.

Don’t be passive about passion–successful couples work on creating passion.

3. You believe sex is mainly physical.

Sex is psychological, emotional and physical. For many, the road to great sex starts in their mind. You’ve probably heard the adage: “The most powerful sex organ is between the ears.” Your imagination and fantasy life can be a great aphrodisiac. For this to occur, you and your partner need to openly communicate about your sexual desires and interests.

Feedback and discussions about what works and doesn’t work in the bedroom will pave the way to a more fulfilling sex life.

4. You still believe in “the quickie.”

Nothing kills passion like a hurried atmosphere. You’re not a teenager any longer, translated: Your body and libido have slowed down a bit since raging sex hormones were the new kids on the block. Do you warm up before exercising? Do you let your car idle before heading off to work in the morning? You and your partner may have different warm-up times before feeling ready for sex–respect these differences and take it slow.

Give passion the time it deserves.

While you might not be able to recapture the sexual glory days of a new relationship, you (and your partner) can take the steps necessary to resuscitate romance and keep passion alive. Awareness of the above four mindsets is an important first step in reversing the toll the years often take on passionate relationships.

To discover other tips about how to build a more loving, passionate relationship, visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and sign up for Dr. Nicastro’s Relationship Toolbox Newsletter. As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports, “The Four Mindsets that Can Topple Your Relationship” and “Relationship Self-defense: Control How You Argue Before Your Arguments Control You.”