If You Are a Survivor – Know That You Are Not Alone!

If you have been sexually assaulted, know that you are not alone, and that there are people who can help. Remember – the assault was not your fault.

If you have just been sexually assaulted

* Get to a safe place. If you are in danger, or want to report the incident, call for immediate police assistance at 911.
* Contact someone to help you – a friend, the police, a parent, etc.
* Get medical attention right away. Even if you don’t want to report this to the police, you may have injuries of which you are unaware. Medical personnel can talk with you about your options for the prevention of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. If you are reporting the assault to the Police you will be taken to the hospital where a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE nurse) will collect evidence through the use of a Physical Evidence Recovery Kit (PERK). The evidence collection will be done along with a medical exam that will address your medical needs.
* Do not shower, drink or eat, douche, or change your clothes. These activities destroy physical evidence that can be used if you choose to report the assault to the police.
* Do not move anything at the scene, if appropriate. If you choose to press charges, the police will need to examine the scene for evidence.

Following a Sexual Assault

Emotional reactions:

* Long after the assailant leaves, the effects of the assault may still be with you. The crime has medical, legal and emotional aftereffects which may take weeks, months or years to resolve. During the months following an assault, survivors may continue to experience a wide range of emotions such as fear, distrust, anger, shame, humiliation, and guilt. Some may also believe that there is something wrong with them because they are continuing to have difficulties months after the assault.
* The reality is that everyone recovers at a pace and in a manner that is unique and appropriate to them. Recovery from sexual assault occurs in stages and is very subjective; what one person considers recovered another might not. After several months you may find that acute symptoms, such as nightmares or flashbacks, have dissapeared, while other symptoms, such as higher levels of anxiety and fear, may persist for some time. Survivors may find that certain times and/or events – particularly the anniversary day of the assault – trigger some of these feelings. While it may be frustrating to be experiencing these symptoms of trauma long after the assault, gradually they will decrease in frequency and change in character.
* The ways that survivors handle feelings and reactions will vary. Some try to block intense emotions by becoming very busy while others deal with these feelings by talking about the assault frequently. Some are afraid of crowded situations and prefer to keep to themselves, while others are afraid to be alone. It is important to not become isolated, but the manner and pace in which you deal with these feelings and reactions should be one that is comfortable for you.

Getting Support

* Talking about the assault and developing a network of support can be a very important part of the healing process. Sometimes, or for some people, talking with friends and family is most helpful. Or, you may prefer speaking with a trained counselor. A counselor can also help you to build a support network and consider the ways in which the people in your life can be helpful. Some people think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Others see it as making use of available resources and expertise, recognizing that most people are not naturally prepared to handle a sexual assault.
* Many have found support and understanding in talking with other survivors through a support group. Group members discover that they are not alone – that others have felt the same way they do. It is also a chance to share ideas of what has been helpful for recovery. In addition, some have found it helpful to take a self-defense class and/or learn about risk reduction and ways to increase their sense of safety.

Remember…

* Recovery takes time;
* It was not your fault;
* Being vulnerable or intoxicated is not an excuse for someone to assault you;
* Rape or sexual assault is not an act of sex or lust – it is about aggression, power, humiliation;
* Complying and cooperation is not the same as consent.
* Sometimes cooperating or complying is the best thing to do;
* Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. This includes proper eating, rest and relaxation, doing nice things for yourself, and asking for help.