* physical assaults
* verbal abuse
* emotional abuse
* sexual abuse
* harassment
* threat or harm

These behaviors are used by one individual to exert power or control over another individual in the context of a family or intimate relationship. This includes relationships such as boyfriend/girlfriend who do not live together, parent/child (child or elder abuse/neglect) and persons in same-sex relationships. Overwhelmingly, domestic violence is perpetrated by men against women. Nationally, statistics indicate 95% of the victims are women.

Thousands of women and their children live in constant terror and pain as a result of family violence. The abuse can be physical, ranging from slaps and kicks to punching and stabbing; or psychological, including threats or verbal abuse that make a person fear for her or his safety.

Legal Definition of Stalking

1. Any person who on more than one occasion engages in conduct directed at another person with the intent to place, or when he knows or reasonably should know that the conduct places that other person in reasonable fear of death, criminal sexual assault, or bodily injury to that other person or to that other person’s family or household member is guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.
2. A third or subsequent conviction occurring within 5 years of a conviction for an offense under this section or for a similar offense under the law of any other jurisdiction shall be a Class 6 felony.

Class 1 misdemeanor: Not more than 12 months in jail and/or not more than $2,500 fine.

Class 6 felony: Not more than 5 years in the State penitentiary or up to 12 months in jail and not more than $2,500 fine.

Categories of Stalkers (taken from J. Reid Meloy)

* Simple-Obsessional – The most common category of stalking cases and also the most lethal type of stalker. These stalkers have a relationship with their victim, and intended victim(s) may include a spouse, child, or other family members, a co-worker, physician, or their boss, etc. Domestic violence-related stalking falls under this category.
* Love-Obsessional – This type of stalker is less common and usually involves stranger and celebrity stalkings (e.g. Rebecca Schaefer, Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow) This type of stalker is often diagnosed with a mental disorder.
* Erotomanic – This is when the stalker truly believes the victim loves him/her, even though no actual relationship exists between stalker and victim. These stalkers are often diagnosed with delusional disorder. David Letterman’s stalker fit this profile, because she believed they were married and tried to move into his house.

Common Stalker Characteristics (taken from Spence-Diehl (1999))

* Jealous
* Narcissistic
* Obsessive and compulsive
* Falls “instantly” in love
* Manipulative
* Needs to have control over others
* Deceptive
* Views problems as someone else’s fault
* Difficulty distinguishing between fantasy and reality
* May be of above average intelligence
* Does no take responsibility for own actions or feelings
* Socially awkward or uncomfortable
* Unable to take “no” for an answer
* Sense of entitlement
* Cannot cope with rejection
* Views self as a victim of society, family, and others
* Dependent on others for sense of “self”
* Often switches between rage and “love”

Most of us only half-listen to the public service announcements about safety in the home. We lock our doors at night, but do little else to change habits that may make us the next victims of the dangerous individuals who are always on the watch for their next opportunity.

This book takes readers through the mindset of predatory criminals–their motives, various plans of attack, and way of thinking–and then teaches simple lifestyle techniques that will help reduce the risk of becoming victimized. Criminal behavior specialists Greg Cooper and Mike King provide expert analysis based on real-life cases, in addition to moving insights from victims and criminals themselves.

Sexual harassment is defined by the person being targeted. The target of sexual harassment and the perpetrator (the one doing the harassing) do not have to agree about what is happening.

Sexual harassment can happen once or many times. Being the target of sexual harassment may make it scary to go to work/school or hard to concentrate. Incidents of sexual harassment may cause the target to feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, or threatened.

Employers and school district officials are legally responsible to guarantee a safe environment which is free from sexual harassment and sex discrimination.

Some forms of sexual harassment are also crimes and should be reported to the police or district attorney so that the perpetrator(s) can be prosecuted.

What can I do?

Tips If You Feel You Are the Target of Sexual Harassment

*Let the harasser know you don’t like the behavior or comments. If you feel safe and comfortable doing so, tell the harasser that his or her behavior bothers you and that you want it to stop.

*Tell someone and keep telling until you find someone who believes you. Find supporters and talk with them about what’s happening. The point is to find someone you can trust, and someone who will take the kinds of actions you want.

*Do not blame yourself for sexual harassment. Harassment is unwanted and can make you feel trapped, confused, helpless, frustrated, embarrassed, and scared. You certainly did not ask for any of those feelings.

*Keep a written record of the incidents: what happened, when, where, who else was present, and how you reacted. Save any notes or pictures you receive from the harasser.

*Go to a supervisor or school staff member. If you feel uncomfortable, it is okay to bring a coworker, friend or parent with you to that meeting.